Monday, July 04, 2005

You Are Special

As I stood waiting to get into Avalon (old school Limelight) a group of normal looking folk cut the line asking each other in a loud manner "Isn't it nice to be special." All I could think was, "If cutting in line makes you feel special you have a sad existence hun." It was a feeling filled with sentiment and very little or no bitterness: I truly felt sorry for them. There are more important things in life than cutting in line at a nightclub to make you feel special. I guess when we grow independently from each other and each other's spirit we find comfort in the insignificant.

..."As a drag queen, people generally see me as some kind of thing or freak with a sex fetish. I've never understood why people find it so hard to recognize the real person inside of me" says Rupaul in her autobiography Lettin it all Hang Out. With the clear image of the Avalon line cutters and Rupaul's introspective words dancing in my head I can't help wonder how many people have opened a copy of NEXT Magazine in the past few weeks to find my drag face plastered across the pages posing with Shaquida, Jim Verraros, or John Cameron Mitchell only to ponder "If taking pictures with entertainers makes her feel special she must have a sad existence." Yes, they are correct, I do have a sad existence; my sadness stems from the EQN (as Milwaukee T would say) "Evil Queen Network," the typical bitter queens that don't understand how it's all a game.



Full essay in Trans-cending Zine Vol #1 Boy/Girl